I want my life to be illuminated with candles and fancy dinners…

But I’m just not that fabulous.

I think it’s the price that you have to pay for watching wonderful films. Your life, in comparison, will always be a disappointment. There will be no Hugh Grant to whisk you away, and in the midst of despair, unlike those flicks that you have seen time and time again, you are never quite so sure of the ‘happy ending’. I think this is the urban pessimist coming out. But seriously, how are we supposed to live up to these fantasies built up in our minds?

I always like to imagine myself as a character in a film; I know it’s petty, but it tends to add a dimension of ‘meaning’ to my life, as though my world is not just a set of uncontrollable events, but something that follows a plot and has a soundtrack – it’s much more comforting that way!

I’m not really too sure where I’m going with this or what exactly my point is, but I guess that’s why I named this blog ‘ponderings’! But I’ll leave this thought with you – I remember watching an episode of Gossip Girl (no I’m not ashamed to admit that I love that show!) after a day where I felt down and didn’t know where my life was going. Blair was reflecting on the days where she would watch ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ over and over, because she new exactly how it would end. But her own life? It dawned on her that she was not only the star actress, but also the directer, producer and camera man in a film with no genre, and she could not possibly juggle all of those things at once.

So what’s your movie going to be? Horror? Thriller? Romantic comedy? The scary thing is that you have to decide!

Keep pondering!




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