I want my life to be illuminated with candles and fancy dinners…

But I’m just not that fabulous.

I think it’s the price that you have to pay for watching wonderful films. Your life, in comparison, will always be a disappointment. There will be no Hugh Grant to whisk you away, and in the midst of despair, unlike those flicks that you have seen time and time again, you are never quite so sure of the ‘happy ending’. I think this is the urban pessimist coming out. But seriously, how are we supposed to live up to these fantasies built up in our minds?

I always like to imagine myself as a character in a film; I know it’s petty, but it tends to add a dimension of ‘meaning’ to my life, as though my world is not just a set of uncontrollable events, but something that follows a plot and has a soundtrack – it’s much more comforting that way!

I’m not really too sure where I’m going with this or what exactly my point is, but I guess that’s why I named this blog ‘ponderings’! But I’ll leave this thought with you – I remember watching an episode of Gossip Girl (no I’m not ashamed to admit that I love that show!) after a day where I felt down and didn’t know where my life was going. Blair was reflecting on the days where she would watch ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ over and over, because she new exactly how it would end. But her own life? It dawned on her that she was not only the star actress, but also the directer, producer and camera man in a film with no genre, and she could not possibly juggle all of those things at once.

So what’s your movie going to be? Horror? Thriller? Romantic comedy? The scary thing is that you have to decide!

Keep pondering!



Graffiti is Art

Graffiti, whether ugly, pointless or beautiful, is an art-form and a voice calling out from society. It will always tell us something about the world and illustrate an emotion, whether it be boredom, injustice, frustration or love. It is the people’s art and we must take notice of it; it is just as valid as a Damian Hirst or Georgia O’Keefe – it is one person’s view. Next time you see graffiti, absorb it, just like you would a masterpiece at a gallery – you may be surprised about what you might see within!


It is just one person using the means they have to put their mark on the world.


‘As a child, is this how you saw yourself all grown up?’

When I was 7, all that I wanted in the world was a treehouse.

I wanted it so bad that I broke my arm trying to build one.

The dream was to have my own special place, somewhere to day dream, sat above the world that I did not understand.

Now what I want is a penthouse apartment. When did I get so materialistic?

People say I’m shy, nice, quiet, polite, a dreamer..

..but I will get what I want even if I have to break my arm in the process

I will do it for the 7 year old in me that still wants to sit above the trees. : )

I love it when the nights get dark..

This picture epitomizes everything I love about the winter months; the dark blue hue that covers the world at 6 o Clock, the lights on the street and in the windows, the hustle and bustle of people wrapped up in woolen clothes. Autumn leaves.

There is a certain nostalgia about it; even when you are in the midst of it all, when you are that girl in the photo, you are still longing for more of the feeling, there is something that you still cannot capture, because some of it is held in the past.

My mind goes back to past autumns, when I longed for the future, when I thought of the past. I think that traditions are just this – my mind can never focus on the present because it is always reminded of what was before.

I want to have an in-the-moment feeling, where you do not want to be in the past, you do not want to be in the future, you want to be in the present, always and forever.

I’ll leave you with a song : ) Autumn Leaves

Wow. I was listening to the above song whilst writing this, I wasn’t listening to the words but as I was writing I had my late Grandad in mind the whole time.

I have just read that the song was written about Paolo Nutini’s Grandad when he died.

Everything will be alright..

I’m not sure what is meant by ‘everything’, but these words probably the most comforting things for me to hear. Every time I hear someone say it, I am immediately soothed. I do not know why because I’m not quite sure what I am worried about, but to me it is just so powerful.

I have just been to see the chick-flick ‘Life as we Know it’ this evening, it was quite good, but the best thing I got from it was hearing the song ‘For you now’ by Bruno Merz. The melody is so mesmerizing and I just LOVE the lyrics. I feel so deep in thought, so mellow and calm.

But it has made me think; are we in our sub-conscious always on edge, constantly thinking that everything will fall apart? Do we need to be reassured every so ofter that everything actually will be alright? Maybe it is just me. But I think that sometimes we all just need the reassurance that our parents gave us as children and the feeling of safety.

I want to make a piece of art related to this, not sure how but I just want the big, bold, words: ‘everything will be alright’.

Listen to the song, then tell me what YOU think! 🙂 xxxx

In the future, this is the way everyone will be introduced.

Click here to watch Laurel Pantin’s Test Shot

I lalalala-love Jake Davis Test Shots. He has a way of making us feel like we know the stranger who he films for about 60 seconds. He makes them look so special and unique and deep and someone who we want to get to know.

It is the antithesis to the idea that we walk past hundreds of people on the street everyday and treat them all the same, we do not care about the little things about them, we just want to be able to get along with our lives.

Jake Davis has this incredible knack for taking all of those millions of people, and zooming into just one of their lives for a few moments, adding fitting music and a place that is important to them.

I want to commission one for myself!!

Don’t count on the camera that hangs round your neck, cause it will never remember what you choose to forget

And on the way home…

I held your camera like a bible…

Hoping so bad that it…

Held some kind of truth.

‘Don’t count on the camera that hands round your neck, cause it will never remember what you choose to forget.’

-Conor Oberst

His quotes are just so clever and emotive. This is one of my favorites because it contradicts the old saying that ‘the camera never lies’ – that may be still true in some respects, but at the end of the day we are selective in which truths we want to capture. Even if it is a bad memory, we have chosen to remember it. I guess I am talking literally about taking pictures and metaphorically in the way that we ‘capture memories’, too.